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Marlboro Jewish Center ("MJC") wanted to introduce a monthly Shabbat dinner as a core activity of the synagogue. A successful monthly Shabbat dinner program would provide MJC and congregants with many benefits: · It would provide congregants with knowledge of the Friday night Seder and provide them with the practice and skills to continue those rituals in their own homes; · It would allow congregants to bring younger children to a 6:15PM service since the service beginning at 8:30PM ends too late for them; · Perhaps most importantly, it would help create a feeling of community and intimacy in a congregation with over 900 families.

MJC commenced with the monthly Shabbat dinner, preceded by an early service, in the fall of 1999. The synagogue had tried one-shot Shabbat dinners occasionally over the years and had a decent response (for example Shabbat Across America), but the idea of having a monthly dinner was dismissed because it was felt that if the dinner theme was not unique, the novelty would wear off. How could we find a compelling way to market the program so that we would have a large enough group to avoid having a financial disaster?

The synagogue leadership went to the arms of the congregation and certain committees and asked them to sponsor a month of the Shabbat dinners. Sponsors paid a fixed contribution that subsidized the meal and kept it very affordable ($10/adult, $5/child). We found sponsors fairly easily each temple arm stepped up to take a month. In our synagogue we have five arms: Mens, Sisterhood, Prime Timers, Club MJC, and Second Generation. They took a month that worked well for their calendars (for example 2nd Generation took May for Yom HaShoah and gave all survivors and children a carnation to wear to dinner). Some committees sponsored dinners. For example, the Membership committee sponsored June and invited all prospective members to join us at dinner for free.

These core groups were rounded out fairly easily with regulars, and thanks to the sponsorship idea our core group of regulars grew and represented a diverse group of congregants (we have regular tables of Prime Timers, young families, etc. who first experienced our family dinners during their sponsor month and as a result have chosen to return). It is also not unusual to have a few tables of guests for the b'nai mitzvot with their out of town guests and extended families. Finally, we always have first timers - people who have heard the "buzz" about the dinners, people who just want to go out to eat, and even a group that eats dinner and then joins the 8:30 minyan.

At this time we have Shabbat dinners that range from 115-220 people each month. Congregants are very enthusiastic about the dinners. Families that come to the dinners seem to attend synagogue more frequently on Friday nights without dinners than before, although we don't have empirical data. Many families appreciate the opportunity to observe and become familiar with the "Shabbat Seder", something that was not previously part of their home experience.

An unanticipated bonus was that the 6:15 service became a popular feature in its own right. We now have a weekly 6:15 service for people who want to daven before eating or for some people who are saying kaddish and find the larger Friday night service overwhelming. In fact, we ran a training program to train people to have the skills to lead this service. The 6:15 service is held in our newly constructed Beit Midrash that some people like to daven in because they find it more heimish.

This year we hope to more aggressively promote home observance of Friday night Shabbat rituals in several ways. One highlight will be by having different members of the congregation provide testimonials on how they feel about having turned Friday night into Shabbat in their homes. These testimonials will be published in our monthly newsletter. Again, we will invite people to our Shabbat dinner as a way for people to see a "model Seder" that they can take home.

Miscellaneous details. MJC has a caterer and catering room that makes this easier to accomplish, however as long as you have a room large enough you can have food brought in and achieve the same results. In the first year we had volunteers bring the food, this year we pay a little more and have waiters bring the food (so people can shmooze). However, you will still need volunteers. They are needed to set up the room on Friday morning, and you need a layperson that is comfortable leading a second service. We only run this program from September to June. Our after dinner ruach time is abbreviated because we have to begin to "breakdown the room" to ready it for the Kiddush after the second service (volunteers are needed here too).

Still, we do have time to tell a story each week and we bentsch communally.